The Things a Relocation Checklist Can’t Teach You
What one family’s experience in Paris can teach global mobility professionals about orientation, community and belonging
What one family’s experience in Paris can teach global mobility professionals about orientation, community and belonging
The question for global mobility: Are we preparing employees merely to arrive in a new country—or to understand how life actually works once they get there?
Global mobility professionals are exceptionally good at managing details.
We coordinate household goods, temporary housing, immigration requirements, travel, school searches and countless other moving pieces that help an employee and their family reach a new destination successfully.
But what happens after they arrive?
What happens when the boxes are unpacked, the children begin school and the practical work of moving gives way to the much more personal work of building a life?
In her Substack article, “The French Don’t Do Playdates,” Britt Forsling offers a funny and thoughtful look at this side of relocation—the cultural nuances that may appear small on paper but can significantly shape a family’s experience.
Her story raises an important question for all of us in global mobility:
When Familiar Social Cues Disappear
After moving from Atlanta to Paris, Britt expected her children’s school to provide a natural entry point into the community.
In the United States, schools frequently create an entire social infrastructure for families: parent organizations, classroom events, volunteer opportunities, school festivals, parent gatherings and playdates. These activities do more than fill a calendar. They help parents meet one another and give newly arrived families a built-in way to begin forming relationships.
In France, Britt encountered something different.
There were fewer organized opportunities, little communication about becoming part of the school community and no immediate assumption that her children’s classmates—or their parents—would become friends.
Eventually, a French mother helped her understand that even the familiar American concept of a “playdate” did not translate neatly into French family life. Friendship was approached differently. Relationships developed more gradually and often began between adults, with children naturally folded into an existing community.
Britt’s full reflection on friendship and family life in France is warm, humorous and deeply relatable. But underneath the playdate discussion is a much larger lesson about relocation.
Culture influences not only how people work, communicate and conduct business. It also shapes how they make friends, raise children, participate in their neighborhoods and experience belonging.
Orientation Must Go Beyond Information
Traditional cultural orientation often focuses on helping employees avoid misunderstandings. It may cover communication styles, workplace etiquette, holidays, dining customs, transportation and other practical differences.
That information is valuable—but it may not be enough.
A relocating family may know how to navigate public transportation and still feel unsure about how to approach another parent at school. They may understand local business etiquette but not know how friendships are formed. They may have successfully enrolled their children in school without understanding how families participate in the surrounding community.
These are not simply lifestyle details. They affect how quickly—and how deeply—a family settles into its new environment.
Effective orientation should therefore help families explore questions such as:
- How are friendships typically formed?
- Where do adults naturally meet and connect?
- How do families socialize?
- What role do schools, neighborhoods, faith communities, clubs or shared interests play?
- Which behaviors signal friendliness, respect or a desire for connection?
- What expectations might be unfamiliar or easily misunderstood?
There is no guidebook capable of preparing a family for every interaction. The goal is not to eliminate every uncomfortable moment or reduce a culture to a checklist. It is to provide context, build confidence and help employees recognize that what feels distant or confusing may simply reflect a different way of creating relationships.
The Family Experience Is Part of the Assignment
For organizations, this conversation has significance beyond employee satisfaction.
An employee may be thriving professionally while their spouse, partner or children are struggling to establish a life outside of work. When the family feels isolated or disconnected, the assignment itself can become harder to sustain.
This is why successful relocation cannot be measured only by operational milestones.
A shipment delivered on time matters. Immigration completed correctly matters. Housing secured within budget matters. But long-term success also depends on whether the employee and accompanying family can begin developing the relationships, routines and sense of stability that make a new location feel livable.
Community cannot be manufactured overnight, and genuine friendship cannot be assigned as a relocation benefit. But mobility programs can create better conditions for connection.
That might mean offering more thoughtful cultural preparation, introducing families to community resources, helping accompanying partners identify social and professional networks, or providing opportunities for recent arrivals to meet others navigating similar transitions.
Sometimes the most valuable support is simply helping a family understand that their experience is normal—and that building a meaningful life in a new culture takes time.
Moving People Means Understanding Their Lives
At Hilldrup, we know that relocation is about much more than transporting belongings from one address to another. Behind every move is a person leaving familiar routines, relationships and support systems—and often asking their family to do the same.
Britt’s experience in Paris is a reminder that some of the most consequential parts of relocation are also the easiest to overlook.
A playdate may never appear on a mobility checklist. Neither will the first conversation at the school gate, the invitation to dinner that finally makes a family feel included or the moment a new city begins to feel like home.
Yet these experiences can help determine how an employee and their family remember—and ultimately succeed in—their relocation.
As global mobility professionals, we should continue asking questions that extend beyond arrival:
Do employees understand their new environment? Do their families have meaningful ways to connect? Are we giving them more than information—are we helping create a path toward belonging?
Because getting people to the right place is only the beginning.
Helping them build a life there is what allows a relocation to truly succeed.
CONTINUE READING
Read Britt Forsling’s original article: “The French Don’t Do Playdates: Friendship Is Not an Extracurricular Activity.”
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